All posts by Katherine

The warm heart of my family

Babycare, Babywearing, Breastfeeding, Cosleeping, Our journey, Parenting, , , , , ,

Reading the latest The Parental Intelligence Newsletter I came upon this article that struck a cord with me – Why African Babies Don’t Cry
by J. Claire K. Niala.

It reminded me of some of the childhood influences on my parenting that I treasure the most. As a child I lived in various countries – most notably for a couple of years in Malawi. It was a time in my life that I loved completely – warm sun, heavy rain, good friends and family all in the warm heart of Africa. It influenced my view of the world and in recent years has heavily influenced my parenting choices.

We had a cook – whose large family was very important to me. Their two year old daughter in particular was the only child before I had my own that I have ever felt maternal about. Whilst we were their her mother had another baby daughter. And between them both they taught me some of the most important lessons for my own parenting.

First – there is nothing strange about co-sleeping – although given a family of 11 people, and two bedrooms you really have no choice. But that normal, happy children co-sleep and it can be a completely normal part of the human condition.

Secondly that toddlers don’t have to throw tantrums. The only times I ever saw my friend cry was if she was hurt or at wash time – now that she hated!

Thirdly babies don’t have to cry, and the most normal place in the world for a baby is attached to its mother, in a chitenge or what ever other baby carrier comes to hand. The little one is also the only baby I can remember seeing breastfeeding up close.

These special memories stayed with me for years – ready to help make breastfeeding, cosleeping, babywearing and multi-age communities of children seem like the obvious choices for my own children.

Stone age resources

Children's books, Children's fiction, History, Websites, , , , , , ,

Here I’ve gathered a few links to resources on the stone age.

Online Games

  • Show me Prehistory - links to online games and interactive content on prehistory produced by the UK’s museums and galleries, for children aged 4 to 11
  • See You See Me Skara Brae – interactive, animated games and educational videos about the prehistoric site of Skara Brae in the Orkney Isles
  • BBC Hands on History – Ancient Britain - take a journey back to ancient Britain with an animated day in the life of a stone age boy! Plus build your own stone circle and paint a story using cave art

Books

Factual

  • How to Live Like a Stone-Age Hunter by Anita Ganerisecrets of stonehenge
  • The Secrets of Stonehenge, by Mick Manning and Brita Granström
    This is a factual picture book aimed at older children charting the history of Stonehenge. Starting from the Mesolithic nomadic hunter-gatherers, through the first farmers to Stonehenge as a modern tourist destination. It examines how the henge was built, how it changed over time and what it may have been used for. See full review
  • DK Eyewitness Early People
    This is part of series of books characterised by being very comprehensive, with big visual spreads focusing on objects and artefacts, and incorporating manageable chunks of text. The information is fairly detailed and dense so is more suitable for older children (DK recommends age 9-14) or as a great way for an adult to get to grips with a subject. This book covers human evolution, hunter-gatherers, neolithic agriculture, bronze and iron age and has world wide coverage.
    It might suit a visual child with a love of objects at a younger age. Definitely one for use as a references book, because of the sheer level of detail and breadth of information.
  • Stone Age (Sounds of the Past) Clint Twist, Nicki Palin
    This is an unusual book – a novelty book with pop up and sounds. When we first got it I was worried that the sounds would impact on its readability, but actually it works really well! Open a double spread and you hear the sounds of a mammoth hunt, or neolithic farm. The sounds are a little over the top, with lots of things going on at once. (Book requires a 3 volt battery to make sounds.) But once the sound finishes playing it doesn’t repeat so you can explore the page and read the text that accompanies the pop-up pictures. Each double picture spread has lots of details to spot. And the next spread is an information page describing what you see in the pop-up pages. There is actually a surprising amount of information, and at a higher level than might be expected in a book with sounds and pop-up pictures! Covers origins in Africa, cave painters, mammoth hunters, neolithic farming and Stonehenge.

  • Avoid being a mammoth hunter! John Malam and David Antram
    Part of a wonderfully bright, informative, humorous and engaging series of history books. The illustrations in this make it very accessible to younger readers and they flow well being read aloud. The use of illustrations, and captions pack the book with a far higher level of information than the layout and illustrations suggest. We will always checkout this series, as have found it really useful time and time again.

  • Look Inside the Stone Age Board book by Abigail Wheatley and Stefano Tognetti
    A lift-the-flap book from Usborne books, about life from the Stone Age to the Iron Age. Bright, engaging illustrations, with the added interactivity of flaps to lift and find out more behind. Aimed at 5+ and a good book for younger children.
  • The Stone Age: Hunters, Gatherers and Woolly Mammoths by Marcia Williams
  • Stone Age (Beginners) by Jerome Martin, Usborne Books
  • Prehistoric Britain (History of Britain) by Alex Frith, Rachel Firth, Ian McNee
  • My Best Book of Early People Margaret Hynes Kingfisher Books
  • Who Were the First People (Usborne Starting Point History)
  • Stone Age, Bone Age (Wonderwise) Mick Manning & Brita Granstrom An entertaining factual story book.
    Although factual rather than fiction, this picture book actually makes a reasonable substitute if you can’t get hold of our recommended book Stone Age Boy. The illustrations are bold, with strong colours and shapes, and the illustrator’s signature feelings of movement and life. It uses our favourite factual book format. A big beautiful picture, with a well written, poetic main text on the page. Plus additional information to read or not. This makes it as readable as any fictional picture book, and a good first introduction to palaeolithic stone age.
  • Hands-on History! Stone Age
    Another book combining information and craft projects.
  • Stone Age Sentinel (Newspaper History) Paul Dowswell and Fergus Fleming.
    Usborne Newspaper style look at the stone age.
  • The Stone Age News Fiona MacDonald
    Alternative newspaper style book on the stone age.
  • The Savage Stone Age (Horrible Histories) Terry Deary
  • The Secret Cave: Discovering Lascaux by Emily Arnold McCully
    True story of four boys who discover cave paintings in the Lascaux caves.

Sticker books

Workbooks

Fiction

Children’s Historical Fiction – Stone Age – Booklist with recommendations and reviews of some of our favourite stone age historical fiction.

Videos and music

One of our favourite history TV programmes is Horrible Histories. Unfortunately it has tended to fall for the old stone age=stupid comedy line. More recently as the show has matured it has improved and there are a couple of good stone age/prehistory segments.

Board Games

Cookery

  • History Cookbook – A couple of palaeolithic video recipes, plus making fire and neolithic recipes. Plus picture galleries (series of picture plus simple text) on prehistoric life, food and health.
  • Ray Mears Wild Food , TV series on DVD and Wild Food, Ray Mears – looks at Mesolithic British food, through comparisons with surviving hunter gatherer cultures.

Teacher’s Resources

Places to visit

Online Information

Learning Trust, Trusting Learning conference 2011

Home education, Parenting, , , , , , , ,

Spent yesterday at the LiTTLe Conference in London – Learning Trust, Trusting Learning.

Very nice to see some old friends, put some faces to Twitter friends and see some well-known autonomous home educators in real life.

  • Imran Shah – Social worker and active member of email lists, with an articulate passion for parent-baby attachment. Talked about the vital importance of parent-child attachment.
  • Sandra Dodd – US Unschooling guru. Talked about living thoughtfully in the present and fostering a sense of wonder.
  • David Waynforth -  Research scientist on human behavioural ecology. Talked about children’s food choices.
  • Mike Fortune-Wood – Home education veteran, advocate and editor. Talked about the challenges facing Home Education in a political climate of increasing State control of childrens’ personal lives.
  • Alan Thomas & Harriet Pattison – Researchers into how children learn and informal learning.
  • Schuyler Waynforth

Considered writing a bit more about each – but KP Nuts has beaten me to it! The LiTTLe Conference in London 11.6.11

 

Playing in public spaces

Magazines and blogs, Parenting, Play,

One of my favourite blogs is The Cool Hunter.

I always enjoy finding the newsletter in my inbox – it injects a bit of colour into the world, with some wonderfully different ideas on everyday things. One of my favourite parts is the Kids section. Today it featured Reinventing Kids’ Spaces/Playgrounds. With lots of wonderful pictures of playful places.

For me the biggest problem with play is not just that children need to time to play, but also they often need permission. We live in a world where adults spend a lot of time telling children not to touch or to behave because they are worried about how other will view their children. Where parents worry that their children playing in the street or pedestrian areas are going to make too much noise, or upset other adults.

The play spaces pictures in the blog are wonderful, and making spaces bright and playful can be a great way to encourage adults to let go and let the children play, but actually many public places already have the potential to be wonderful playgrounds if adults felt that it was acceptable, and just let the children play.

We had a lovely time last weekend when we just sat in our local town’s sensory garden and let the children play. We let them climb on the benches and the sculpture. And pretty soon other children joined in to. Children will do this spontaneously if they are given the time and permission to do so. Everyday street furniture, fencing, walls, trees etc can be wonderful to play on and with. Every small child is drawn to walking on walls, swinging on railings and so on.

Another instance of adult aimed environment that makes a great play space for younger children is the outdoors gym in a neighbouring town’s park. Although aimed at over 12 year olds it makes an interesting and different play space for younger children too. My 4 year old found the equipment to be interesting climbing frames and my 7 year old enjoyed the glimpse into another form of adult exercise that would suit her, but which she is barred because of her age.

As The Cool Hunter  says public spaces could be so much more than they are now. Both visually and as play spaces for adults and children alike. Great design plays an important part, but even without that just a change in attitude can make a huge difference.

Celebrating pregnancy

Pregnancy

Exploring ways to mark and celebrate being pregnant

Becoming pregnant changes our lives forever. It is a time to put away our preconceptions, literarily the ideas we have before pregnancy and to move on to the next stage in our lives.
A first pregnancy is a time to think about our changing role as men and women, the shift from being primarily our parents’ children to becoming parents ourselves. It irrevocably alters the relationship between us and our partners, as the new baby become the centre of our lives.
A subsequent pregnancy often focuses our attention on what a new baby will mean for our existing child or children, and on how best to prepare them for a new sibling.
Despite these momentous changes we often rush through pregnancy, distracted by everyday life. We focus on coping with morning sickness and the discomforts of pregnancy. Or we may attend antenatal classes and go shopping, as we prepare for the birth and life with a new baby. But how often do we focus on the here and now, on the baby inside us.
Taking time to focus on our baby before birth can be a magical and enriching experience. It helps us to bond with our baby, feel more in tune with our health during pregnancy and can give us and our child a wonderful legacy to look back on.
Here are a few ideas of things to do to mark this life-changing event and to celebrate our bodies and our babies.

Meditate on it

Meditating on our baby during pregnancy can help us relax, deal with our fears about childbirth and parenthood and even make for a more comfortable birth. There are many approaches ranging from yoga, to hypnosis for birth.

Write about it

How about writing a pregnancy journal or diary. Get a beautiful notebook and set aside a short time each day to write, maybe in the form of letters to your baby.
Alternatively do it online, with a blog.

Don’t forget to take lots of photos

Cast your bump

Create a magical keepsake of the miraculous nine months you carry your baby inside you. Pregnant belly casts fascinate adults and children alike, whether you choose to hang yours proudly on the wall, or use it as a fruit bowl or more discrete ornament. Your belly cast will be a lasting reminder of how your body changed.
Once comfortable and smeared with Vaseline your bump is cast using layers of warm, wet plaster bandage. Get a Do-It-Yourself kit or book an appointment . Alternatively make an appointment for a high definition gel casting or true body casting.

Turn your bump into a work of art

Have a personal design painted onto your bump, and a photo shoot to immortalise this very special piece of art!

Pamper yourself

How about taking some time out to pamper yourself and your bump. many spas have special pregnancy treatments.
Another common way to focus on pregnancy is to attend an antenatal yoga class. The class is not only a time to exercise, but also an opportunity to relax and focus on your un-born baby.

Have a Baby Shower

How about throwing a party for a friend or relation? Baby showers, originated in post-war America, are increasingly popular in the UK. It is a chance to get together, usually about two months before baby is due, to celebrate the unborn baby, pass on experiences of motherhood and fuss over the mum-to-be. It is traditional to take this opportunity to hand over gifts to the new mum or baby, and play a few games, like ‘guess the baby’s birth weight’. You might want to have a theme such as Teddy bear’s picnic, or nursery rhymes. Baby showers are big business in the States, often with a no-expenses spared pampering session and party at a posh hotel. But a small party at home can be just as special!

Or maybe a Blessing Way

Another American import, the Blessing Way originates in a Navajo Indian rite of passage. It celebrates a life changing event such as becoming an adult, or a parent, passing through the menopause or any other life event that one wants to bless or celebrate. A blessingway is a personal version of a religious or secular rite of passage.
Each Blessing way is different, but they all involve a celebration or ceremony with friends and family, focusing on the emotional and spiritual needs of the mother-to-be. Each guest brings a prayer or gift. One common idea is for each guest to give a bead, accompanied by a song or blessing, which are then strung together into a special necklace to be worn during labour. Or everyone might join in with decorate the bump with henna art, or sew or write their names on a quilt square for the baby’s blanket.

Celebrating pregnancy around the world:

• Sephardic Jews celebrate a first pregnancy with a kortadura de fashadura, or “cutting of the swaddling clothes.” A party where cloth is cut to make the baby’s first outfit.
• In many places it considered important not to accept gifts or to celebrate the unborn baby. Drawing attention to a pregnancy might attract bad luck or jealous evil spirits.
• A Hindu Seemantham is traditionally held during the seventh month of pregnancy. It is organized by family and involves gift-giving and religious ritual. A prayer to fire is recited to soothe the expectant mother. Light instrumental music is played, and it is believed that this will refine the development of the baby’s ears.
• At the 5th month of pregnancy, Japanese women visit the temple on the Day of the Dog to pray and receive a hara-obi maternity sash to hold the baby in the proper position and prevent it growing too large

E learnt to read…

Home education, Learning, ,

My nearly eight year old daughter E is a voracious reader. She disappears off into a book for hours, procrastinating when it is time to do anything, just to spend a few more moments reading, and regularly disappears only to be found reading in the bathroom.

But no-one has taught her.

E does not go to school, so she has had the freedom to learn in her own way, at her own pace. Outside school learning primarily happens through conversation and trying things out, so there was never any hurry to start teaching her to read!

E has always been surrounded by books, has spent sometimes hours a day being read to and regularly visits the library where all our library cards are permanently maxed out. Indeed ‘book’ was one of her first words.

Some days I will disappear into a novel, until at last I reappear, satiated for a while. And her father is frequently found to be missing, presumed reading on his i-phone in the bathroom. Reading is just something we all do for fun – both to ourselves and to E and her little sister.

I guess we have taken the ‘just read to them approach’! And it has gone something like this:

Step 1.

Read lots to E

Some days we may not read to her at all, other days we will curl up in bed in the morning and read … for hours. First picture books, then later adding in non-fiction and a chapter or more in the evening. Once upon a time it was the Far Away Tree, then Swallows and Amazons, Harry Potter, Percy Jackson and most recently the Hobbit. With a sprinkling of lots of others books too!

Step 2:

Play at reading

When she was a toddler E would often play at reading to her doll of course. Just like anything else a small child sees others doing.

Step 3:

Follow her lead

As time went on we got a feel for what worked for her.

Which turned out to be absolutely no teaching, no getting her to read or try to sound out words. And definitely no asking questions, or interrupting the flow. As soon as we tried any of these E just closed down and switched off. Instead she just asked me to follow the words with my finger for a while. So we listened and just continued to read to her.

Step 4:

Find words everywhere

Reading started with E recognising her own name, then the word google when searching for pictures of animals online. Words are of course everywhere!

On one memorable occasion when she was four we were walking home down the street and she shouted ‘stop’. In a panic I turned, envisioning an oncoming truck, but found instead that she had just read the word off a car sticker.

E found words on the computer, the playstation,  in shops, in magazines, on board games, in recipes – just a few of her favourite things!

But mostly E loves books. We all still read lots of picture books, many of which we borrow time and again from the library. Indeed although E can now read Harry Potter she will inevitably spend the longest time browsing and choose to borrow picture books. I will choose the chapter books and factual books that I think might appeal to her when we get home.

Step 5:

Reading to others

As she became more confident E would read simple books to others – her sister, and her Grandpa. But not to me – oh no, never to me!

Step 6:

Fairy Magic

As her reading developed E immersed herself in the Rainbow Magic books. She worked her way through at least fifty of these highly formulaic books, building up her reading skills. Sometimes two or three per bus trip.

Step 7:

E can now read quite independently. She has read a few chapters of Harry Potter, and is reading and re-reading her current favourite – Tony Robinson’s Kings and Queens. Interestingly before she could read fiction was a firm favourite, but maybe that is more to do with the general lack of good factual picture books?

Step 8:

Keep reading to her

And of course I still read to her. Not for so many hours a day – but most days we will manage at least one chapter. The latest favourites are the Percy Jackson and Kane Chronicles by Rick Riordan.

Our aim has been for E to see reading as a joy, not a chore. Whether it be a story to lose herself in or a factual book that feeds that thirst for knowledge. Her personality has dictated that this meant leaving her to learn to read, whilst sharing books with her, and  surrounding her with words and stories. For our part we have simply needed to read to her, provide books and maintain faith – faith that she would learn to read.

A few favourite articles on reading:

http://lisarussell.org/blog/please-do-not-read-to-your-child-for-20-minutes-a-day/

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/freedom-learn/201002/children-teach-themselves-read

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/freedom-learn/201311/the-reading-wars-why-natural-learning-fails-in-classrooms

http://schoolingtheworld.org/a-thousand-rivers/

Other experiences:

This was written as part of Liveotherwise’s Reading Carnival.
Other experiences in Oxfordshire Home Educators’ Magazine. 

Inspirational books

Babycare, Featured, Parenting, , ,

Inspirational and indispensible books on pregnancy, birth and parenting

The right book can be a real source of support and help you feel confident in your choices, but reading the wrong ones can make you feel frustrated and a bit of a failure. As every parent and baby is different you need to take what works for you, and supports you. Here are books that have inspired other parents.

Advice I was once given was that if you buy Gina Ford, also try reading Sears, or Liedloff too. That way you can find an approach that you like, that suits you and your family. What works for some will not work for others. Helen

No book is a suitable substitute for meeting with other Mums of children of a similar age and just chatting about your children. Even if this chat sometimes happens online after children are in bed rather than face to face… Edwina

Early days

The Continuum Concept, Jean Liedloff ‡

This book is 100% down the other end of the parenting scale to Ford. Very much about looking within to yourself for ways to nurture your newborn based upon natural instincts. Helen

Your Baby And Child by Penelope Leach

I like Leach’s non-judgemental, non-threatening, non-lecturing approach to childcare. Her style is very descriptive and is a real celebration of babyhood and the early years. It’s quite an old-fashioned approach, but with an ‘older voice’ comes wisdom! Reading her takes away all your guilt and is the literary equivalent of a pat on the back! Nicola

Inspirational because she doesn’t try to give you all the answers and encourages you to trust your own instincts Sharon

Baby Wisdom by Deborah Jackson

Main message I picked up from it was that as long as they are fed and clothed, all you really need is a safe and loving environment for your child. There are many other things covered and I just love the style but then it suits my style of parenting. Louise

It covers all sorts of cultural and historical baby care and I found it a great way to see sift through and see what appealed to MY instincts and to see what ‘normal’ baby care across different times and places looks like. Katherine

What Mothers Do: Especially When it Looks Like Nothing by Naomi Stadlen ‡

Inspirational because it showed me that whatever I’m thinking/feeling/doing,
at least some other mothers experience it as well. Sharon

This book really reveals what it is that PARENTS do, not just the obvious things like changing nappies, feeding children, etc., but this is about the little things that no-one ever seems to notice. It is an eye opener as well as a confirmation of your feelings as a parent. Nicolette

Absolutely amazing for dealing with so many of my first time mum questions and feelings. It is a rich collection of examples of others mums experiences, again I found it a reassuring and very informative read. Alexis

The Attachment Parenting Book, by William and Martha Sears

Lots of advice on baby wearing, bonding and breastfeeding, but nothing is prescriptive and there is a lot of ‘wiggle’ room to do things your own way. Helen

The Science of Parenting (retitled What Every Parent Needs to Know) by Margot Sunderland ‡

Explainssome of the science behind the guidance given by people like Sears but in simple, easy to follow language with lots of pictures – perfect for a sleep-deprived mum like me.Yazmin

Our Babies, Ourselves, How biology & culture shape the way we parent, by Meredith Small

Babies all over the world are raised differently according to the values of the society in which they are born. This made me think a bit more about the values that our society puts on adults/children/babies and which of these values I wanted our family to keep. Interesting and thought provoking. Susan

Older children

How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber

Helped me realise that my job as a parent isn’t to do things for my kids, but to enable them to do them themselves. Sharon

Raising Happy Children by Jan Parker and Jan Stimpson  ‡

Reinforced my own ’embryonic’ feelings that my new baby child was in fact a person in their own right, not someone who I had to tame or train but someone I could begin to relate to and understand. It does give concrete advice and help but it is not preachy, to me, and it deals with lots of different situations. Helen

Raising Boys by Steve Biddulph

I have found this a book that I refer back to again and again as my little boy is growing up. Zoe

Raising Your Spirited Child by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka

This book has provided me with a more positive way of looking at my daughter’s difficult behaviour. She is just MORE! The behaviours we find so draining in our children are actually strong positive traits in the adult and are to be admired! Zoe

Pregnancy & Birth

Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth
Spiritual Midwifery ‡ both by Ina May Gaskin

I love these for instilling confidence in a woman’s ability to have a baby. Since reading her books I strongly believe in the idea that having a baby need not be a traumatic, medical procedure, but a happy, almost enjoyable and amazing event. Helen

A collection of stories of birth, usual and unusual, but all of them seeing birth as something positive that women are designed beautifully to do. I don’t often cry when I read books but I did at this one, in awe of the power of our bodies.  Carol

Pre childbirth, I found Ina May Gaskin’s “Ina May’s guide to childbirth” to be very informative, as I was pondering over whether or not to book in for an ABC birth at Watford. She is an advocate of gentle natural birthing, and reading about her experiences as a midwife on “the farm” in the US, where mums-to-be come to be nurtured and guided through the birthing process, made me empowered to believe I should give it a go. When I arrived at the ABC, my own midwife had actually met Ina May and we spoke a lot about trying to achieve an intervention free birth as much as possible. Things did not quite work out that way (far from in fact it !!) but I was so glad I had read her book and was confident enough to at least try to have a natural birth. Alexis

Childbirth Without Fear by Dick Grantly Read ‡( Inspired the founding of the NCT)

Started me on the road to my fantastic home birth. It can be a bit of a slog to get through (but maybe that was just my pregnant brain not taking it in!) but it was a refreshing change to the commonly held and perpetuated view that childbirth is always a traumatic, agonising experience. After reading it, I KNEW I could have a happy, positive birth experience and then went on to do just that. I’m so happy I found it and would recommend it to all first time mums as something to read as an antidote to all the scare stories they will, inevitably, get bombarded with. Kelly

The New Pregnancy and Childbirth by Sheila Kitzinger ‡

Kitzinger is an inspirational writer who deals with all aspects of pregnancy and childbirth (including emotional and psychological) – reading her book gave me confidence in my own ability to give birth and rereading her book brings back all kinds of emotions.  She captures birth beautifully in her words and pictures, as well as giving practical suggestions. Nicola

Series

The Best Friends’ Guide to …

Human, comical, down to earth, and above all it (Best Friends’ guide to pregnancy) reminds you to enjoy this incredible moment… all the things you’d hope to hear from a friend. Carmen

I also loved ‘The Best Friends’ guides for their humour, something that so many baby books seem to forget and leave out. Helen

What to Expect books

Well set out and liked the format of “should be able to”, “will probably be able to” and “may be able to” for each month. I did feel it could have given a better “normal” range.
This is one of the best series of books I have found, very matter of fact, and not too opinionated (so didn’t push particular parenting ideas too much). Edwina

I’m expecting another baby in February and the only book I want back from the various friends I lent them to is ‘What to Expect: The First Year’. This book put my mind at rest as to what baby should or shouldn’t be doing at each stage – and stopped me from being a competitive mum. I liked it so much I went on to buy the ‘toddler years’. Claire

Love it or loathe it?

Contented Little Baby Book, Gina Ford

This one just goes to show that one person’s indispensible book, may well be another’s most hated! With over 700 reviews on Amazon.co.uk this one really divides opinion, and stirs emotions!

Yes

It has been my bible and i think is a must for all those who live isolated away from family and friends, which seems to be most modern lifestyles now! Gina has replaced the info and support you possibly got from grandmothers, aunties, and other friends as parents which in our situation are a minimum of 2-4 hour drives and a 24 flight away! It gives you permission, reassurance and structure if you are a routine person already! Sarah

This book saved my patience and any endless guessing I would have had. I watch my sister in law flying by the seat of her pants and I admire her as she does not “get” routines but her children respond so well to my children’s routines whilst in my home, so it is true, this book is not for everyone but it is definitely for my family! Both my girls are on the routine from an early age and now it is not a routine, it is how it is done, we all conform and we are all so happy with it. It made life so much easier with baby number 2, she fitted in perfectly with the routines of number 1 and we too got sleep all night from a young age, what bliss! Sarah

No

Some women will find that breastfeeding goes haywire if they follow Gina’s advice in the early days. In breastfeeding classes, if people are planning to impose a feeding schedule, I suggest not being rigid in the early days – to ensure that the baby gets enough time at the breast, enough milk, and that milk supply isn’t reduced by restricting feeds. Elaine (Breastfeeding Counsellor)

I can only speak from personal experience but after reading Gina Fords book I put an incredible amount of (unnecessary) pressure on myself, and my new baby. I was in a foreign country without any support network and had been told her book should become my “bible”. Thank goodness I had enough common sense to know when enough was enough and it went in the bin. I am now very, very wary when recommended those types of books. Carmen.

Maybe?

I also used Gina with my first baby as I had no clue about babies and no family around and found her a useful starting point.  With DD2 Gina didn’t work and this time I’m trusting my own instincts… having said that, DD3 is still waking loads in the night but how much is nature/nurture I don’t know!  Nicola

Where to get hold of these books

‡ Available to buy from NCT nctshop.co.uk

Written with contributions from members of the NCT

Finding support for natural parenting

Parenting

I’ve been thinking a lot about support for natural or attachment parenting this week, after going to a new local natural parenting group. And thinking how nice it would have been to have a similar group when I started!

In the early days baby E and I went to a local women’s centre play group, a weekly breastfeeding group, and NCT coffee mornings. Apart from the breastfeeding group they provided me with little in the way of parenting support, and even at breastfeeding group I had to be careful about expressing my approach. The main subjects of conversation were often irrelevant or occasionally uncomfortable for me – routines, sleep training, mixed feeding, early weaning.

Sometimes it is important just to feel normal. Or to have people who share most of your basic values to help deal with a particular issue.

Not to say I didn’t meet people I liked, or even some who did things in a similar way – but that I had to always be on my guard about what I said, and walk a very fine line until I could work out where each person was coming from.

I did NCT coffee mornings for a long time. In some ways it was to pick up like-minded Mums if and when they turned up. I also found that getting involved as a committee member and newsletter editor let me be involved, and make sure the branch represented my type of parenting too! I filled the social gap with online groups, a local breastfeeding support group that worked as a social group, La Leche League (but too far and the wrong days), slingmeets and more recently the local Home Birth group.

I found it was essential to support my parenting with books, (I chose only to read those I liked, rather than force myself to cover all the bases!), scientific research and online groups. In most of my real life groups, especially at the start, I was way off at one end of the spectrum! Those groups have helped me be more diplomatic when the need arises, but especially in the early days I felt that I had little in common with most other parents.

Over the years I’ve found people that have supported me and people who are doing it the same way – I’ve slowly collected real life people and groups where I feel more middle of the road and normal!

I also find the independent streak in me has stood me in good stead over the years! An early childhood spent living in various different places has really helped me feel comfortable with being different!

Jean Liedloff, author of the highly influential The Continuum Concept has died

Babycare, Parenting

On March 15, 2011 – Jean Liedloff, author of The Continuum Concept, passed away peacefully in her home.

The Continuum Concept is the idea that in order to achieve optimal physical, mental and emotional development, human beings — especially babies — require the kind of experience to which our species adapted during the long process of our evolution.

Experiences such as constant physical contact with a familiar caregiver, bed-sharing, breastfeeding on cue, being carried and allowed to observe, prompt non-judgemental responses to his signals (squirming, crying,  etc), other’s expectations that he is a social creature with natural self-preservation instincts.

Jean Liedloff influenced many parents and indeed changed many people’s understanding of how to parent.

My favourite gadget

Ethical consuming, ,
I have to confess to a terrible vice, that I have now got under control with the help of my favourite gadget!

I love Coca-Cola.

It may not seem so terrible to many, but as someone who tries hard to buy ethically being hooked on the product of one of the world’s biggest multi-national companies with a less than perfect human rights record is a bit embarrassing.
I love the taste, and the sugar and caffeine provide me with my last ditch pick me up. It is practically the only drink you can buy in a corner shop, other than water, that doesn’t taste of artificial sweetener – Yuk!
In the past no other drink substituted – I could tell if it wasn’t the real thing as soon as I drank some – and actually even that is wasn’t made in the right country – French Coca-Cola tastes different (just not right), but German tastes like the British stuff.

So what does any of this have to do with a my favourite gadget?

I found that grapefruit juice and soda works wonders. For some reason I get the same kick out of it as Coca-Cola but without the palpitations, bad temper and sleeplessness! For several years I spent a fortune on bottled soda water, and frequently went shopping just for soda water, only to find the local shop had run out. Then it hit me – just make your own!
I bought a Soda Stream for my birthday a couple of years ago.
As time as gone by – I’ve practically ditched the grapefruit too, and a drop of lemon and fizzy water refreshes me.
So I always keep a bottle of soda water in the fridge and my favourite gadget close at hand.
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This post is part of the notesfromhome’s Friday Club carnival:

Geeky Mummy gives us A Geeky Guide to Buying a Mobile Phone.

Helen at Cheeky Wipes tells us about her favourite gadget in And the award for best gadget goes to…..

Cara at Freckles Family writes about a gadget she loves.

Bibsey writes about her favourite gadget, my ‘precious’.

Merry at Patch of Puddles tells us about her clay sculpture tool.

Jax at Live Otherwise gives us her favourite gadget and it’s not what you think.

Cass at The Diary of a Frugal Family posts Gadgets – I love you….. .

Clare at Seasider in the City gives us Tech her family can’t do without.

Jacq at Mymumdom tells us about her backing camera.

Maggy at Red Ted Art posts about her digital camera.

Ella at Notes From Home tells us about her home media centre.