Category Archives: Parenting

Hertfordshire based natural parenting groups

It is a while since I’ve touched on the subject of finding support for natural parenting.

Ten years ago I found a couple of online groups that supported me – one was a forum that no longer exists and the other was thebabywearer.com.

Over the years I’ve tried different groups online, with varying degrees of success. I’ve dipped in and out of Natural Mamas and Green Parent. But have found difficulties with staying engaged. In one case because of the lack of notification of new topics.

I used to frequent the sling meet group, but now that part of our lives has moved on and the interest is less immediate.

Today though most of my support comes from local natural parenting groups, predominantly Facebook groups. These groups feed into my email or Facebook news feed which I use every day, keeping me engaged and up to date.

I thought it would be useful to have a list of Hertfordshire based natural parenting groups.

Any more to add to the list?

Education choices Pt 1:- What would suit your child and family?

Where and how to educate our children is one of the biggest decisions we make for them.

In England, Wales and Northern Ireland the law states that ‘The parent of every child of compulsory school age shall cause him to receive efficient full-time education suitable to: His age, ability and aptitude, and any special educational needs he may have, either by regular attendance at school or otherwise.’

Education, like every other aspect of our children’s lives, is our responsibility as parents. But it is an area where our options are often hidden and it is easy to make choices without fully exploring the possibilities. The three basic options are state school, independent school and home education.

What would suit your child and family?

What suits one child or family won’t necessarily suit another. Some people use a mix of educational settings depending on what works for each of their children at any particular time. And don’t forget it needs to work for your family as a whole too. And of course your choices are not set in stone, you can always change your mind and use another option later.

What would suit your child?

Think about your child’s personality, abilities, needs and interests. Are they academically inclined, or would a setting with greater emphasis on sports or music be a better choice? Is your child very active or sensitive and better suited to an informal education or a later start to formal education?
What environment would suit your child? Think about the number of children and age range in a class or group. Should activities be child-led or directed by an adult?

What would suit you and your family circumstances?

Do you want to be actively involved in your child’s education? Can you provide or arrange full time care for home education? If you would prefer an independent school do you have the ability to pay? Is a local state school a better option because of travel arrangements?

What are your family values and parenting style?

Any adult that spends a significant amount of time with your child is going to have a major impact on your child. It may be important to you to choose an education that supports your family values. This may mean a faith school, an academically selective school, or one with a strong environmental, spiritual or creative focus. Or do you prefer the personalized, learning through life experiences opportunities afforded by home education?

There are many different approaches to education. Which education options are available in your local state school? If you have a Free School locally you may find it has a different approach to other state schools. Do you need to consider independent schools or home education to meet your requirements?

What compromises are you able to make?

How and where your child is educated has immediate financial and social impacts, as well as the long term influence on your child.

Are you able to forgo a salary if you would prefer to home educate, or can you earn enough to pay school fees if you would prefer an independent school? Are you happy for your child to travel further or board to go to a school that fits your requirements better?

Pt 2: State school, independent school or home education? >>

Victory on parental controls

My experiences with parental controls on my telephone network have convinced me that Government imposed parental controls are a bad idea. They block sites they shouldn’t and let through others they should, even if there was a consensus on what they should block (which there isn’t).

So I am pleased to hear that the Government has dropped plans to introduce ISP level parental controls, and will instead focus on helping parents choose and use existing controls

ORG victory on parental controls

Out and about with little ones

Over the years we have spent a lot of time outside with our two young children.
Wandering the streets has been a favourite, and playing in public spaces. Street furniture has so many possibilities! If you leave enough time to take things slow there are lots of interesting things for small children around the streets.
We have also enjoyed going to the park or woods, climbing trees and setting up home in the shrubbery. A pushed over pushchair on the pavement makes a brilliant rocket on the way back from the library.
Who can resist puddle jumping or jumping in the autumn leaves – I know none of us can!
Playgrounds have provided a social opportunity and plenty of fun over the years too.
My youngest in particular likes to collect things and each journey outside leaves the possibility for the discovery of treasures – a discarded McDonald toy, a stick, a hub cap (these are particularly popular).
My eldest loves the opportunity to meet people and chat that being outside provides too.

For me the top tips for getting out and about are:

1. Using a sling for a baby – and for a toddler (up to age 4 or 5 with a well suited good quality one.
Baby can see everything and chat with you and other people if they want. And it doesn’t matter how far a toddler can walk because you just pick them up for a bit. I like a mei-tai best – easy for back carries and unlike a wrap there isn’t too much material to drag through the mud. A good soft structured carrier can work well too.
Types of baby carriers
2. Working out a bag(s) that worked for me, and taking as little as possible.
For me this was a large runner bumbag, which I could wear around my waist under the carrier. Children carried their own toddler day sack from very early on with nappy things in. (not the baby ones in shape of animals as you can’t really fit anything else in these). If your child has a tendency to run towards the road then the reins on these might be helpful too.
3. Dress right for the weather
With a bit of research it is possible to find clothes for babies, children and adults that mean that the weather isn’t a problem.
Babywearing – what to wear in wet and cold?
4. Learning not to expect too much.
Children like to potter, and it seems completely against their nature to walk from A to B with getting somewhere as the purpose. For them it is about the journey. So slow down, take your time and you’ll be rewarded by getting to see a familiar landscape in a whole new way.

Parenting and maternity sites blocked by Three

List of the sites I have so far found to be blocked. (Based on limited searches)


http://ispid.org/
http://www.rcmnormalbirth.org.uk/
http://www.aims.org.uk/
http://midwifery.org.uk
http://independentmidwives.org.uk/
http://wearyourbaby.com/
http://altbirthchoices.com/
http://positivebirthchoices.com/
http://doula.org.uk/
http://www.mothersmate.co.uk/
http://www.independentmidwives-southeast.co.uk/
http://www.independentmidwives.com/

Home


http://hypnobirthing.co.uk/
http://www.thehypnobirthingcentre.co.uk/

Active Birth Centre Home


http://pregnancyandparents.org.uk/
http://www.bellybelly.com.au/


http://thenewbornbaby.com/
http://expressyourselfmums.co.uk/

Independent midwives: (This amounts to over half of the sample tested)
http://www.wellmother.org
http://nurturingbirth.co.uk
http://hackneydoula.co.uk
http://www.rightsofpassagemidwifery.com/
http://www.mayamidwives.co.uk/
http://www.sagefemme.co.uk/
http://www.londonbirthpractice.co.uk/
http://www.midwifemal.co.uk/
http://www.3shiresmidwife.co.uk/
http://www.southlondonindependentmidwives.co.uk/
http://www.veronahall.co.uk/
http://www.independentmidwives-southeast.co.uk/
http://www.wlim.co.uk/
http://www.mk-midwife.co.uk
http://birchmidwife.co.uk

http://natalhypnotherapy.co.uk
http://hypnosisforbirth.com
http://birthrelaxationkit.com
http://www.childbirthjoy.com/

Also yoga or active and birth:
Adding to Active Birth Centre:
http://yogabirth.org
http://yoga4birth.co.uk
http://activebirth-oxford.co.uk
http://birthwise.net

Birth pool hire:
http://www.eaubaby.net

Support organisations:
TAMBA http://www.tamba.org.uk/
Tiny LIfe http://www.tinylife.org.uk/
Maternal Link http://www.maternallink.com/
The Miscarriage Association http://www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/
Birth Trauma Association (BTA) http://www.birthtraumaassociation.org.uk/

Access to information – an essential part of parenting

Over the last month I have been forced to confront a new emerging reality. One where parents, and women in particular are unable to access information and support on birth, and parenting because of telephone, website and internet adult-content blocks and censorship.

I am facing a new world where as a parent I must choose between essentially turning on the porn and violence (assuming that remains an option) or being unable to access a vast number of websites about breastfeeding, birth, babies, parenting and health. These are precisely the sites that parents need to be able to access in order to make informed choices about their children, but the very filters intended to protect children prevent this.

As a responsible parent you would think that blocking adult content is a good thing – I personally do not want my children stumbling across hard core pornography and violence online. But in practice, whether you think it is a parental responsibility alone or whether governments, phone companies and ISPs should take the initiative and block content, the reality that is emerging is that this type of filtering doesn’t always (or maybe ever) work.

My story starts a with an awareness of the problems faced by many women on Facebook. Facebook has a reputation for banning pictures of women breastfeeding.

The issue became more personal at the end of July when I found that mobile phone company 3 was blocking one of the world’s most highly regarded parenting and breastfeeding websites - kellymom.com. As a mother I have relied heavily on the information on this evidence-based website for years.  Now if you go and look at it (if you can) this site isn’t even full of pictures of half naked women – which as a breastfeding website would actually be entirely appropriate. Many women have problems breastfeeding and one of the factors behind this may be that most of us have never seen a baby feed. Four weeks later – kellymom is still blocked and I am informed that the matter has been passed on to the relevant department, but that rectifying it will take an unspecified amount of time and involve complicated policy decisions by a team of people.

On the same day I discover another blocked website. The International Society for the Study and Prevention of Perinatal and Infant Death (ISPID) is a not-for-profit organization that is leading the world in discovering evidence-based preventive measures for stillbirth and sudden infant death. So it looks less and less like some kind of mistake based on porn websites with a similar name to Kellymom though this initially seemed to be a possibility.

This morning I decided that if these two sites were being blocked I would spend an hour seeing what else is inaccessible through 3. So I carried out some simple searches starting with terms such as birth choices. And voila! – in a short space of time I’ve a list of about twenty websites providing information and services to parents and parents-to-be that are blocked by my telephone network. These range from the internationally renowned KellyMom, to the Royal College of Midwives

http://kellymom.com/
http://ispid.org/
http://www.rcmnormalbirth.org.uk/
http://www.aims.org.uk/
http://midwifery.org.uk
http://independentmidwives.org.uk/
http://wearyourbaby.com/
http://altbirthchoices.com/
http://positivebirthchoices.com/
http://doula.org.uk/
http://www.mothersmate.co.uk/
http://www.independentmidwives-southeast.co.uk/
http://www.independentmidwives.com/
http://hypnobirthing.com/
http://hypnobirthing.co.uk/
http://www.thehypnobirthingcentre.co.uk/
http://activebirthcentre.com/
http://pregnancyandparents.org.uk/
http://www.bellybelly.com.au/
http://activebirthpools.com/
http://thenewbornbaby.com/
http://expressyourselfmums.co.uk/

None of these sites have adult content, they are all aimed at the very people who are likely to choose to have parental controls turned on. They range from small businesses, to birth classes, to the Royal College of Midwives!

So why does this matter? It matters because it isn’t clear what criteria these companies use, and it isn’t easy to get these websites unblocked. Blocking sites like this makes a mockery of the idea of parental controls, just at the point where they are about to be rolled out by ISPs. In order to be an informed and responsible parent, and to make the best decisions for our families and children will we have any choice other than to turn off all parental controls?

 

Education Choices Pt 2a: State School

Every child aged between five and 16 is entitled to a place at a state school and most parents choose this option. These are government funded and so are free to attend.

From September 2011 local authorities must accept children in to reception, the September after the child turns four, but you may choose full time or part time until age five. You can now defer entry until later in the year up until your child reaches five, and the place must be held for you until the term after the child’s fifth birthday, but not beyond the end of the academic year. If you want you can choose to use a state funded nursery or other setting place instead, until the term after you child turns five. (Schools Admission Code)

If you are choosing a state school start inquiring about primary schools well before your child reaches their fourth birthday.

Educational approaches:

Most state schools are mainstream state schools – which means that they receive funding via local authorities, follow the National Curriculum and are regularly inspected by Ofsted. These are based on a formal, single-age, class-based, and curriculum driven approach, where learning is primarily adult-led. It is focused on assessment and passing tests, through SATs and later on GCSEs, A-Levels and the recently approved IGCSEs.

Some specialise in particular subjects, or are governed in partnership with a faith or voluntary group. There are also state schools catering for children with special needs, boarding schools and Grammar schools which select on academic ability. For many parents the local nature and community setting of a state primary school is important.

Academies are a newer type of state-funded school. Free Schools are new Academy schools set up by parents, teachers, charities, community or faith groups or previously independent schools. They are essentially state-funded independent schools, which have greater freedom in how they run themselves and the educational approach they take. Your options are dependent on the approach taken by individual academy schools in your area. If you are interested in setting up a Free School the New Schools Network provides advice and guidance.

Finding a school:

You can search for state schools and find out more about them at schoolsfinder.direct.gov.uk, or contact your local authority and ask for a list of schools.

Finding out more about schools:

Admissions:

Each year your local authority will produce a free booklet giving deadlines, the application process, and admission criteria, and the admissions criteria for how places are allocated. You should automatically receive information on getting your child into school.

The Local authority sets the admission criteria for some schools, whilst other state maintained schools have their own governing body which decides on admissions criteria. Make sure you read the admission criteria for your preferred schools.

Applying:

Apply by filling in the Local Authority Common Application Form online or in paper in the autumn for entry the following September. You need to list one or more preferred schools for primary schools.

The dates vary so check with your local authority and send off your form or apply online in plenty of time.

References:

Schools Admissions Code

<< Back to: Pt 2: State school, independent school or home education?

On to: Pt 2b: Independent School >>

Education Choices Pt 2b: Independent School

Independent Schools are privately owned and run. Since they are not state funded they are primarily funded by fees paid by parents.

Educational approaches:

The independent sector covers a range of different approaches, including some unavailable within the state sector. Each school will have different priorities, different values and use different methods.

Many Independent schools follow formal, single-age, class-based, and curriculum driven approach, where learning is primarily adult-led. It is focused on assessment and passing tests, as in State schools and may be based on the National Curriculum.

Prep schools are primary schools which prepare children for academically selective secondary schools, which have school entrance exams like the Common Entrance paper.

Other independent schools may follow very different philosophies.

Although more commonly found as nurseries for the under 5s, the Montessori approach is also used in schools for older children with multi-age groups, where children select their own activities www.montessori.org.uk. Steiner Waldorf schools focus on play-based Kindergarten until formal, theme-based education starts at 7, with a focus on practical, artistic and intellectual skills, and continuity of care with class teacher for eight years www.steinerwaldorf.org.uk.

Finding a school:

Independent schools are listed at the Independent Schools Council  www.isc.co.uk or the Independent Schools Directory www.indschools.co.uk, or on schoolsfinder.direct.gov.uk.

Finding out more about schools:

  • read the schools’ most recent Ofsted www.ofsted.gov.uk or Independent Schools Inspectorate www.isi.net report.
  • School achievement and attainment tables include independent schools (performance tables) www.dcsf.gov.uk/performancetables/ and league tables
  • Read the schools’ prospectuses
  • Independent Schools Directories
  • Talk to other parents. ISC may have a Parental Satisfaction Report for some schools
  • Visit the schools

Admissions:

Each school will deal will set its own admissions criteria and applications. Contact schools direct for more information.

<< Back to: Pt 2a: State school

On to: Pt 2c: Home Education >>

Education Choices Pt 2c: Home Education

Some parents choose to educate their children themselves, outside school. This may be their their first choice, because they want to take responsibility for the education themselves and allow their child to learn in a flexible, individualized way within a family setting. For others it is a response to school not working for that child, sometimes due to bullying, special needs or educational issues.

Home educators are a diverse group with a range of reasons for choosing home education, and different backgrounds. You do not need to be a teacher to home educate.

Educational approaches:

Home education covers the widest range of approaches, from formal work, as used in schools, to informal learning. Some families use a structured adult-led curriculum and there are many different ones available, as well as lots of resources for the National Curriculum. Others are autonomous, with the child leading the education. Often this emphasises informal learning through play and conversation but may also include structured worksheets and courses. Many use elements of both approaches. The individualised nature of home education means that parents can tailor every child’s education by picking the approach that works for them at that time.

Home educated children can take formal qualifications, such as IGCSEs, GCSEs and A-Levels either through correspondence courses, as external candidates or at further education college.

Finding out more:

There are a number of national organisations for England that support home educators.

You local public library should also have books on explaining more about home education.

Getting started:

If your child is not at school yet, you do not have to inform anyone that you are home educating since education is a parental responsibility.

If you want to remove your child from school in England then you need to inform the school in writing, and they will inform your Local Authority. The Local Authority has a duty to act if it thinks that a suitable education isn’t taking place, and you should respond to any enquires. Local authorities often prefer visits, but you may instead provide written information to satisfy their enquiries. De-registration from a designated Special Needs school requires LA consent.

Many home educators start by joining one of the national organisations and using its local contact lists to meet other home educators. There are local support networks (try searching yahoo and google groups for one in your area) through which home educators pool resources and take part in a wide range of group activities and social events.  Talking to home educators is a great way to find out if home education is for your family and how others go about it.

References:

Elective Home Education Guidelines
Ed Yourself – Comprehensive look at legalities of home education

<< Back to Pt 2b: Independent School