Sleeping with baby can be deadly, parents are warned

http://www.fsid.org.uk/threeinabed-news.html

There is no evidence of increased risk to babies who bed-share if their parents follow simple safety guidelines, don’t smoke and don’t drink or take drugs. And there is lots of research by experts such as Helen Ball, Peter Blair and James McKenna that lead to the conclusion that bed-sharing is as safe as anything else.

The weirdest thing is that FSID funds the studies by Blair that have found no increased risk for ‘safe’ bed-sharing – so why do they continue in their stance that it is such a terrible thing to do?

http://www.dur.ac.uk/sleep.lab/staff/ 
http://www.nd.edu/~jmckenn1/lab/
http://www.babyfriendly.org.uk/items/item_detail.asp?item=577

Advice like this is dangerous – last time this advice was given more babies died because their exhausted parents fell asleep with them on the sofa.

If you follow some simple safety guidelines, don’t drink or smoke then it is as safe as anywhere else, and has enormous benefits in making breastfeeding easier and helping babies and parents sleep better.

Besides, feeding a baby formula increases the risk of illness and death but it is a normal, acceptable way to feed a baby. Parents must be supported in their choice of how to feed their baby AND where it should sleep. They need accurate information, and support, rather than unscientific scaremongering and criticism for their choices. 

Coroner blames co-sleeping for baby’s death.

Co-sleeping is as safe or safer for baby than sleeping alone. The ‘experts’ who say otherwise are either ignorant of the scientific evidence, or ignoring it because of their own prejudices.

In this case, the parents and baby weren’t even in bed – they were on the sofa. So Mr Kelly – what has this case got to do with co-sleeping?

What is not safe is smoking, and taking awareness altering drugs such as alcohol or cannabis when bed-sharing or indeed at any time when with a baby or young child.

To lose a child is devastating, but as to why this baby died – the answer is simple. His parents were drunk.

Take two terry squares and fold

Place rectangle on kite

Place baby on and fold rectangle up. Pull kite points round over tummy and nappy nipper in place

Someone recently asked about naming ceremonies on the green parent forum so I’ve decided to post Tara’s naming ceremony here.

I based them on the British Humanist Associations’s book ‘New Arrivals’, which I thoroughly recommend.

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Naming Ceremony of Tara Sydney Willow Norman

Introduction and Welcome

Friends and Family, you have been invited here today to welcome Tara celebrate her arrival, pledge our commitment to her, and officially name her. (Tony)

Reading (Brian)

Where am I going? I don’t quite know.
Down to the stream where the king-cups grow —
Up on the hill where the pine-trees blow —
Anywhere, anywhere. I don’t know.

Where am I going? The clouds sail by,
Little ones, baby ones, over the sky.
Where am I going? The shadows pass,
Little ones, baby ones, over the grass.

If you were a cloud, and sailed up there,
You’d sail on water as blue as air,
And you’d see me here in the fields and say:
“Doesn’t the sky look green today?”

Where am I going? The high rooks call:
“It’s awful fun to be born at all.”
Where am I going? The ring-doves coo:
“We do have beautiful things to do.”

If you were a bird, and lived on high,
You’d lean on the wind when the wind came by,
You’d say to the wind when it took you away:
“That’s where I wanted to go today!”

Where am I going? I don’t quite know.
What does it matter where people go?
Down to the wood where the blue-bells grow —
Anywhere, anywhere. I don’t know.

A A Milne

Parent’s Pledge

As Tara’s parents Katherine and Iain will now pledge their commitment to her. (Tony)

Tara as you parents, we pledge to: Iain & Katherine

Take the time to listen to you. Katherine

Give you the freedom to explore and savour the world around you. Iain

Provide you with somewhere safe to run to when the world is a scary place Katherine

Guide and protect you as you grow. Iain

Teach you to respect the people and places around you. Katherine

And to show you all the love we have for you, every day and in every way. Iain & Katherine

Erin would now like to say a few words Iain & Katherine

Tara, I love you, I love you, I love you Erin

Grandparent’s Pledge

Tara’s grandparents will now pledge their commitment to Tara. (Tony)

Tara; Ken and Sue, Tony and I; your grandparents, promise to assist your parents in all they endeavour to do for you and to always be there for you, as loving and supportive grandparents. (Elizabeth)

Promises by Sponsors

We have asked Fran, Judith & Keith to play a special role in Tara’s life as Sponsors, so they have some promises they would like to make to her. (Katherine)

Fran

I promise to help you in anyway I can to enjoy the many moments and opportunities that will be in your life.
I will encourage you and support you.
I will be there for you to turn to in times of doubt and when facing life’s challenges.
Even though at times we may be separated by distance I promise to hold you in my heart and thoughts as you grow into the truly remarkable person you will be.
All my love, Aunty Fran

Judith

Tara, I’ve come today just to say
I’m here to help you on your way
To help you count from one to ten
And make sure you avoid the dodgy men
I’ve tales on your Mum, Dad and Aunty Fran
In fact stories on most of the Watkins Clan
Life’s a big adventure but not always fair
Don’t worry Tara, I’ll always be there.

Keith

I promise to help Tara meet life’s challenges over the coming years.
– To be there to advise and support her in decisions she makes
– And to encourage her to enjoy life’s opportunities
In times of difficulty, I promise Tara she can turn to me for help and reassurance

Naming

Our name is a defining part of our identity. It is forever associated with a face, a voice, a walk, a laugh, and all the other traits that make us unique. (Tony)

We have named this child Tara Sydney Willow (Iain & Katherine)

Finding the right name proved harder second time round. We wanted a name that felt right in the same way as Erin does, something simple and unusual. Erin is a name associated with the faery goddess who gave her name to Ireland, and we wanted a name with the same positive, powerful feeling.

Tara is a Hindu goddess, worshiped in many forms and adopted by Buddhists as the only female Buddha. She is the compassionate White Tara and the Green Tara who helps us overcome obstacles.

The name Tara means star in Sanskrit, and Hill of the Kings in Irish Gaelic.

We chose Sydney , in honour of her great grandfather, and Willow because we wanted a tree name.  (Katherine)

Her name will be spoken, whispered, shouted, cried, sung, and written – thousands of times, impersonally or meaningfully – by family, friends, colleagues, lovers, strangers, and maybe by children and grandchildren. (Iain)

Lighting of the Candle

Katherine and Iain will now light a candle as a sign of our love for Tara and our hopes for her future. (Tony)

Katherine and Iain light the candle.

Reading

Zuni Indian Prayer

Now this is the day.
Our child,
Into the daylight
You will go standing.
Preparing for your day.

Our child, it is your day,
This day.
May your road be fulfilled.
In your thoughts may we live,
May we be the ones whom your thoughts will embrace,
May you help us all to finish our roads.

Toast

Please raise your glasses to Tara. We wish you a life of happiness and fulfilment, rich in love and the support of your family and friends. (Tony)

Divers Alarum.

Close

Would you please each write a special message for Tara’s commemorative book. (Tony)

The guests all write a message.